How Complacency Gets in the Way of Happiness and Success (and What to Do About It)

Damn it!

Why couldn’t life be ‘easier’? Why can’t we stay on top for longer (given all the hard work it took to get there)? When do we get a chance to ‘rest’?

Sometimes life sucks just a little bit. It seems to me that if you stop moving forward, putting some effort in on a regular basis, then before you know it, you are moving backwards. Why? Why? Why? Damn it!!

Actually, the why for me is less important. For me it is the acknowledgment that ‘this is life’ and ‘SO WHAT DO I DO ABOUT IT NOW?” that is the most important. And that is what we will be talking about today.

This complacency thing

I see the complacency thing a lot.

For instance I will coach a client through the 30-Day Happiness Challenge and they will come out the other end feeling awesome. In a totally different space then when they started. The reason is (among other things) because we worked on very selective daily rituals and practices to enable them to show up in a bigger and more conscious way each and every day. Like Dr Dispenza says: “Change your personality and you change your personal reality“. You get new results!

The big challenge for everyone when they get to a place of feeling much better than they have for a long time is to ASSUME the feeling and results are a result of the destination, as opposed to the journey and work to get to that destination. In other words, it was not being at X that makes you feel great, it was the doing of certain daily rituals and practices over time, that created a new way of showing up.

So I tell my clients not to stop doing the basics. The daily rituals. The continued learning. The attention they pay to their habits of thinking and behaving. The getting clarity about what is most important. The letting go of those things that don’t serve.

Warning: The complacency thing is a sneaky little bugger too. It creeps up. So remain vigilant.

Solution 1: Do it yourself

So how do we stop complacency? The first way is to become aware that if we are going backwards in life, there is a good chance that we got complacent or have been complacent. Start getting clear on the answers to these questions:

– What were you doing differently when you were on top?
– What did you stop doing that caused this backward slide?
– What was your thinking like when you were on top?
– How did your thinking change?
– What did you focus on when you were on top (or getting to the top)?
– What do you focus on when sliding backwards?
– What stories where you telling yourself before?
– What stories are you telling now?

Get clear about what works for you and what doesn’t. Then it is time to roll the sleeves up, realise that complacency will not get you to where you want to be or how you want to feel; and do what needs to be done.

Do this with the knowledge that mastery is a lifetime practice.

Solution 2: Check out my shopping list

Let me share with you what I have found to be some of the most effective daily practices to undertake, which will ensure you stay near the top or bounce back there quickly:

1. Meditate daily (even for 5 mins)
2. Move the body every day (some days move it a lot)
3. Drink a green drink daily
4. Practice gratitude daily
5. Slow down
6. Get clear about your goals every day
7. Get 7.5 – 9 hrs sleep each night
8. Read or listen to some ‘good’ stuff every day
9. Take time-outs through the day
10. Be conscious of the words you use
11. Be conscious of the stories you tell
12. Focus on one thing at a time
13. Journal to get clarity
14. Don’t criticize yourself
15. Say ‘thank you’ a lot

The aim is to find the things (on this list for starters) that have the biggest Happiness ROI (return on investment) for you and do them consistently. Make them a habit – just like brushing your teeth. Because you know when you stop brushing, your teeth and gums will suffer.