Did you try and guess what the 2 words are?
Or are you happy to show up and see what I have to offer.
What are these 2 “POWERFUL” words????
Actually these two words shape the course and trajectory of our destinies.
They can make life easy or harder.
They can save energy or they can drain it.
They can also create conflict (internally and externally).
And they most definitely can change the course of your life.
The magical, mythical, all-powerful words are…
…drum roll please…
You guessed it.
“YES” & “NO”.
Written out as they are above, it’s hard to fully grasp the true power of the 2-letter and 3-letter words.
But boy do they pack a punch.
Now the way I thought I could best serve you today was to look at each of them separately while looking at ways we can better use them – especially if have have not really mastered them yet.
Which shall we start with?
(Pause while I actually flip a coin).
“YES” won the toss.
So here goes…
How to powerfully use ‘YES’
The first challenge with ‘yes’ is that it seems more grown up.
Less petulant.
Less like a small disruptive child who learns their first word – which is most usually “No!”.
“Yes” seems to have a higher vibration to it.
It is less likely to ruffle feathers, and people most like hearing it as a response to things they ask of you.
When someone asks, “Can you do X for me?”, they LOVE it when you say “Yes”.
Which is where the problem with this word lays.
It is generally, more comfortable to respond to a request with “Yes”.
You are probably going to be more well liked.
But that is the shadow side of this word.
It may keep others happy, but is it really keeping you happy????
Since saying “Yes” seems so much easier to do (in most cases) and is most likely going to keep others happy (and not have them ruffled, affronted or offended), it is generally best to have SOME FILTERS AND STRATEGIES IN PLACE TO ENSURE THAT YOU ONLY UTTER AUTHENTIC AND EMPOWERED “YES’S”.
Before saying any “Yes” you need to put the question or request through a quality FILTER.
At the very least you need to take a big breath (illuminating your mind) before you respond with consideration and contemplation.
To get more strategic you might ask questions like these before giving your answer:
1. Do I REALLY want to say “Yes” to this?
2. Am I inclined to say “Yes” to this because I don’t want to upset anyone?
3. Will saying “Yes” to this increase the quality of my life, or make it more complicated?
4. Is saying “Yes” to this in alignment with my Values, Beliefs, and Purpose?
5. Is saying “Yes” just a way to delay the inevitable (which I may feel too uncomfortable to make)?
6. Does saying “Yes” to this cut off other better possibilities?
My key point is this:
Even for the little “Yes’s”, make sure you filter them before they are presented beyond the guardianship of your mind.
Thoughtless “Yes’s” – especially where they are to avoid discomfort – are the most gnarly things to be on the lookout for, and for you to step above.
Which takes us to our next powerful word.
The power of ‘NO’
I know you know this is a REALLY powerful word.
Maybe even more powerful than “Yes”; as a conscious “No” creates the space for a good quality “Yes”.
And obviously these are two words on a spectrum, that are interwoven, oscillate, and are in service to each other.
When they are used powerfully together, look out, as the results will appear miraculous.
The biggest challenge with “No” is that it can be hard to say, without upsetting or offending other people.
People (including you and me) don’t like to be told “No” as a general rule.
Perhaps because it gave us the sh#ts as kids and we figured we would transcend any limitations caused by those words, once we became ‘adults‘.
So I believe it takes more courage and practice, to be able to say an assertive, and crystal clear, “No”.
But it one of the most important muscles we can build.
The ability to say “No” if something does not serve us, if it is out of alignment with our values, if it disempowers us, if it robs us of useless time and energy, is a life changing skill to master.
You may have heard a Warren Buffet quote along the lines of, “I make more money from knowing what to say no to, than yes“.
Or, “I say 99 no’s for every 1 yes“.
The point is clear.
Until we master a discerning, bold and courageous “No”, our destiny may be held in someone else’s hands.
The solution?
Lean back into the younger version of you.
The very young version of you, who first learned “No” and then used it regardless of who it upset or offended.
Now add to that unconstrained “No” a bit of consciousness, wisdom, discernment and purposeful courage.
Making your “No’s” bold and irrefutable.
The other ‘Strategy’ to add here, if you have a hard time with what to say “Yes” or “No” to; is to start with “No” as a response (in your head) and then something needs to be proven as worthy for you, before it makes it into the “Yes” camp.
That is, most things are a “No” until they are deemed WORTHY of a “Yes”.
And finally, I am not encouraging anyone to be a miserable old cow and screech out a bone-chilling “NO!” every time something is asked of you.
What I am actually saying is:
Use very discerning “No’s” to create the opportunity for the right (Hell Yeah!) “Yes”, so you better use the precious life force at your disposal, and become a true Co-Creator of your Destiny.
In Summary
“Yes” and “No” are powerful words, and shape the course of our lives.
We need to use them more consciously and with high levels of discernment.
Often there is tendency is to say a disempowering “Yes”, in order not to ‘upset‘ someone.
An assertive “No” has power but also takes power.
“No” creates the space for the right quality “Yes’s” in your life.
Consciousness awareness (as always) needs to precede any “Yes” or “No” that leaves our lips.
My Parting Words
The idea of the power of “Yes” and “No” came up recently after meditating.
I realized that such simple words, have a HUGE impact on what is or isn’t in my life.
I can’t blame something outside of myself.
I need to own what I say “Yes” to and what I say “No” to.
What food I put in my mouth; what products I put on my body; what clips I watch on YouTube; whether I exercise or not; what relationships I maintain; what work I choose to do; etc..
EVERYTHING.
I can shine a light on my life and get a measure of it, based on what I have said “Yes” to and “No” to.
This can appear daunting, but to my glass-half-filled mind, it is liberation.
I realize that I can actually create the Destiny I desire by getting even better at what I say “No” to, and what I say “Yes” to.
I am the Captain, navigating my ship through the great unknown, and using the powerful rudders of Yes, and No, to do so.
So there you go.
My tribute to two (2) very small words, that shape the quality of our life experience.
Use them wisely.
Have a fantabulous day, and pay homage to (and have a greater awareness of) how you use your “Yes” and “No” rudders throughout this week.
Take care
Carl
PS: Have you read or listened to this book yet? 18 Ways We Make Life WAY Harder Than It Needs To Be
