This article is a continuation on a conversation we had a few weeks ago.
Where I talked about ‘Daring to Suck‘ and told you of my escapades on our (mini) Asian farm, and my efforts as a stool maker.
My efforts were pretty shabby – to say the least.
Especially when the other day we were watching a17-year-old, Asian single mother, build a pretty kick-arse kitchen from scratch, with stuff she foraged in the land around her (bamboo, rocks, clay, palm fronds for the roof, etc.). There are some epic builders out there, and I am not one of them.
So today the farm adventures continue, and the learning that goes with it, in the form of on-going conversation around the whole ‘sucking’ theme.
Even though I suggest it is okay to ‘dare to suck‘ I realised there is more to the story that needs articulation.
After all, my deeper desire for you, is to not only teach how to make much better decisions when it comes to ‘getting sh#t done‘, but also how to ENJOY yourself along the way.
Life is definitely not just about getting stuff done.
We want to enjoy the heck out of it too.
So here goes.
Sucking it up
As I said, in my last article, I suggested that sometimes we need to lean into discomfort, when doing something new, and be willing to ‘dare to suck‘.
To be okay with looking bad.
To even do such a crappy job that you get laughed at.
All part of the game (like when my motorbike parking roof Version 2.0, leaked EVEN MORE than Version 1.0!!).
But there is another angle I want to explore today.
It is the concept of “Sucking It Up“.
This is the concept of doing something even though you really don’t want to do it (and you might suck at it).
There are times where we just need to do this.
Maybe we don’t have the funds to hire someone, or we need something done ASAFP (and it does not really matter on the quality of the work), or we need to earn some credit points with our wife (to prove we are not a lazy so-and-so, etc.).
But the caveat I want to make is that when it comes to great decision making, we don’t want to just suck things up, just for the sake of sucking things up.
There might very well be times where the BEST decision is not to “suck it up”, and that is the caveat I want to explore with you.
When it’s a great decision not to suck it up
If you are okay with it, I am going to continue with a personal example.
I did suck it up and do some carpentry work over the last bunch of weeks – benches in the potting shed, wooden stool, covers over the garden beds – and mainly it was to show my partner (Ferry) that I would chip in and not be a lazy sod, while she did the garden related work.
I also wanted to experiment with what I like, and what I don’t like.
Plus what I am okay at and what I REALLY suck at.
I do love a good experiment.
So here is what was revealed.
I think I have earned enough kudos points with Ferry that she knows I am willing to chip in.
I also know what I like to do and what I don’t…since I do want to ENJOY this experience as well.
The design work, and coming up with a ‘bill of materials’ (e.g. material, quantities and costing out the job) is something I enjoy. E.g. Making sure we order the right amount of material to minimize waste, and to be economical.
It fits in with my love of figuring sh#t out.
HOWEVER, doing cabinet making, or the likes, is something I just don’t enjoy doing that much.
Plus if we get into the economics of it (and given that I live in SE Asia); in the time it takes me to construct some timber items (3hrs or so), I can earn enough to pay for 5 plus units of the thing I am buying.
So it makes no sense to do something (sucking it up) if:
1) It is not an essential skill you need to develop.
2) You don’t need to earn brownie points with your wife.
3) It is not an essential task that needs doing ASAFP.
4) There is no (significant) economical up-side (plus you are someone who dislikes inefficiency).
5) If you really don’t enjoy doing the task (as in it makes you annoyed, frustrated and cranky).
Therefore the CAVEAT (and Summary) is this:
Dare to suck, but don’t just suck it up, unless it makes logical sense to do so, and you actually ENJOY the thing you are going to suck up. Life is too short to suck it up for no good reasons.
Below: I like to do the concept and design stuff (e.g. our water tank gets way too much sun and no-one in SE Asia likes lukewarm showers.)
My Parting Words
Hopefully you are not too offended by the ‘suck’ word, which got quite the flogging here.
Another thing I have noticed – as a result of being VERY curious about language and words – is often “sayings” don’t tell the whole story.
“Dare to suck” sounds like a great all-encapsulating saying.
But it also needs to come with a caveat.
That is because it is not always the BEST idea to dare to suck, IF you can’t stand the task, don’t need to do the task, and it makes no economical or efficiency sense.
Here are some other (proverb) examples:
“Absence makes the heart grow stronger” (except when it doesn’t).
“Don’t judge a book by its cover” (except when you get the creepy intuitive gut feeling that over-rides everything to do with looks).
“Good things come to those who wait” (except when expediency or haste are crucial for a result).
My point is that it is great to keep tuning up our wisdom, so we make the best decisions, at the right time, for the right reasons, and which come with a bucket load of joy for us to play with.
Dare to suck – when appropriate!
Have a day filled with wisdom, and a week filled with ‘right’ choices and actions.
Take care
Carl
Quotable QUOTE:
“Dare to suck, but don’t just suck it up, unless it makes logical sense to do so, and you actually enjoy the thing you are going to suck up. Life is too short to suck it up for no good reasons.” Carl Massy
(Author of 18 Ways We Make Life WAY Harder Than It Needs To Be)
PS: Have you read or listened to this book yet? 18 Ways We Make Life WAY Harder Than It Needs To Be
