Carl Massy

I am guessing you have plenty of things happening at the moment, as we approach the end of the year, so I will endeavour to keep this tip short (like me). 

Noting that good things, when small, can be twice as good. 

Today’s tip was inspired by real-time and real-world events. 

My older brother is holidaying in Bali for a couple of weeks, and on Day 2 we had a minor ‘tiff’. 

And I figured it would be useful to share with you the “root cause“, and how to avoid something similar during a socially-rich festive season. 

As we approach the tail-end of 2024, I was wracking my brain trying to think of the best ways I could serve you in the weeks ahead. 

Last week we talked about Plans Vs New Years Resolutions. 

This week I am going to talk about how to have great conversations this Xmas, and not fisticuffs, or a need to start 2025 with a list of apologies. 

During 2024, I was working with a number of clients who own their own business, or are around the CEO level, so I have had plenty of great opportunities to not only observe, but talk about what makes great and positively impactful communication. 

The reality is this: In business and in life – poor communication is a HUGE energy-drainer, time-waster, and is anti-optimization.

In business it reduces profits. 

In our personal lives it costs harmony points. 

No one wants that. 

Especially when it is ‘holiday season’. 

We want holidays to equal relaxation, lightness and a whole load of harmony.

So here are 3 simple Tips to help you communicate better.    

I am a fan of owning the results in my life. 

I much prefer to ‘win’. 

I am also not a fan of ‘winging’ the stuff that really matters. 

Which means today we are going to have a sticky beak (peak) at how to start the New Year with a bunch more certainty, when it comes to creating your ideal experiences in 2025. 

We are now officially at the tail-end of 2024. 

It is almost time to tie a bow around it, say bye-bye, and have a look at what’s next. 

Now, is also a great time – at the front end of December – to get more intentional about 2025. 

Especially with the most important business in your life. 

The business of you doing you, with this playing field called ‘life’. 

And we don’t really want to do show up like an amateur. 

However, let me put a cavity here. Of course you can show up however you want. What I am suggesting is if you want to have more sh#t work out for you (more wins), then my suggestions, may be of great benefit. 

So let’s dive right in. 

 I have wanted to have a conversation about a topic I am calling ‘calcification‘ for a while now. 

Mainly as it relates to our minds.

But then I saw some breaking news in the USA about a form of calcification that has been pretty well known in health circles, but is very unknown by the general public. 

And it also directly impacts the mind (via the brain). 

In fact this chemical, knowingly added to most municipal water supplies, is actually shown to lower IQ (among other things). 

And just recently a case was won against the Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) in the USA, where a judge in the Northern District of California ruled in favour of the following: “The scientific literature in the record provides a high level of certainty that a hazard is present; fluoride is associated with reduced IQ.“

Most people don’t know that fluoride was originally chemical waste, but then it got repackaged, repurposed and marketed as a thing to protect against cavities, due to it’s ability to calcify things.  

While I was in Australia (Mildura) last week, I did a presentation (and a number of coaching sessions) where I asked people to raise their hands if they liked to lose. 

You know what? 

Funnily enough, no one raised their hands.

Though one person did suggest that it depends on the context. 

Well noted.  

But for this conversation, let’s assume that the vast majority of people don’t like to lose at things that they care about (they would prefer to WIN). 

And one of the most important games – from my perspective – is this thing called “The Game of Life“. 

I personally have somewhat of an aversion to losing. 

I prefer to WIN at the things that are most important to me. 

Like great relationships, optimum health, meaningful work, or having a LOT more elevated emotional experiences (joy, awe, excitement, enthusiasm, love, etc.) than survival emotions (anger, frustration, fear, doubt, etc.).

I much prefer when things go in my favour. 

And do you know what makes a lot of difference in the outcome?

Whether I am “WINGING IT” (and hoping it all works out in my favour) or whether I OWN IT and roll my sleeves up to do the (right) work.  

If we expect things to work in our favour – like high vitality and health – but we just wing it, the chances of winning are greatly reduced. 

The odds might be a 50 / 50 or even worse. 

Hence why we are going to briefly talk about hamsters and helicopters today.  

Last week I was interviewed for a Podcast by Beth Martens – the author of the GREAT book ‘Journey‘ – which she calls ‘King Hero Interviews’.

It was great to be invited to the conversation and yes I also had to brush up on my King Hero persona beforehand.

I also did not get the topic of discussion ‘Navigating Complex Relationships‘ until about 18 hours before the call, of which were 8hrs of sleep. 

So I was interested in where the conversation would go. 

Beth was also quite vocal about her views over the last few years, so I knew she would be asking me some very specific questions about my thoughts around health measures, government over reach, suspect ‘science’, the state of the world, polarization and where I thought we were heading in the future. 

In the end, complex relationships turned out to be a great topic to explore. 

How do we manage complex relationships, when there may be (very) polarizing beliefs that challenge the fabric and durability of many relationships – intimate, familial, friends, and even work colleagues? 

So we dived in (for almost 2hrs) and these are some of the key things that came to mind for me.     

A lot of people mean well when they are passing on ‘self-help’ teachings. 

But like ‘Chinese Whispers’, through the retelling the actual teaching can become distorted to a point where it eventually becomes incorrect. 

This is one of the reasons why I like the yoga taught at The Practice in Bali. 

Octavio has put a lot of time, energy and effort (20+ years) into trying to best understand the traditional teachings, which were trialed, tested, and replicated over 1000’s of years. 

Most people don’t realise the traditional teachings of yoga are more about creating an elevated ‘mind’ as opposed to a flexible body. 

So today I want to talk about another ‘teaching’ that has been mistaught. 

A few years ago I was hanging out with an Army buddy, at his modest but epic vineyard in the Barossa Valley, where he was creating amazing wine. 

He was also so deeply immersed and knowledgeable in the process of wine making from the bottom up (the soil, plants, seasons, weeds, etc.), I was in awe. 

This buddy also had some PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder) issues he was working through. 

One of the things I shared with him, was to consider solving ‘life’ issues (that were causing stress), by directing his attention the land and the vines – which he knows so intimately – and see how nature deals with similar ‘issues’.

This helps connect to the now, get out of a story, and see what the ‘reality’ is of the life cycle.  

Like being reminded that you cannot control everything, like the weather, for example.

There are so many lessons that Nature shares, which can be applied to day-to-day life. 

So the other day, as I was wandering around our lawn and pulling weeds, I had this thought… 

This article is a continuation on a conversation we had a few weeks ago. 

Where I talked about ‘Daring to Suck‘ and told you of my escapades on our (mini) Asian farm, and my efforts as a stool maker. 

My efforts were pretty shabby – to say the least. 

Especially when the other day we were watching a17-year-old, Asian single mother, build a pretty kick-arse kitchen from scratch, with stuff she foraged in the land around her (bamboo, rocks, clay, palm fronds for the roof, etc.). There are some epic builders out there, and I am not one of them. 

So today the farm adventures continue, and the learning that goes with it, in the form of on-going conversation around the whole ‘sucking’ theme.

Even though I suggest it is okay to ‘dare to suck‘ I realised there is more to the story that needs articulation. 

After all, my deeper desire for you, is to not only teach how to make much better decisions when it comes to ‘getting sh#t done‘, but also how to ENJOY yourself along the way. 

Life is definitely not just about getting stuff done. 

We want to enjoy the heck out of it too. 

So here goes. 

I know this.

You know this. 

But is bares repeating, to both our conscious and unconscious minds. 

As you may or may not know if you are new to my newsletters, my partner and I have been planning a move to a more ‘farm-like’ living experience. 

The plan is to grow a bunch of our own food, spend more time with our hands in the soil, and have a bit more space to swing the proverbial cat if we need to (and yes, that is a terrible saying. 

Also when I say ‘space’ in Asia, it is very different to the 20,000+ acre properties that are pretty common in parts of Australia. 

But, back to the main point I want to make. 

A handful of days ago we had finalised the sale of our house, and were all set to move into the Farm and a bit of Tiny House living (while we build the main house). 

Part of the move included wrapping up the sale, dealing with (Indonesian) banks, notary’s, moving stuff, giving stuff away, rediverting deliveries delivery to a new address (which is not really ‘officially recorded), etc..

In summary, by the time we were ready to move in, we were totally beat, knackered, drained, etc. (you get the picture). 

Which brings me to today’s reminder.