This is definitely a question I am asked often and inevitably something I end up working on with all of my clients.
Because everyone, at times, feels this deeply unsettling feeling of ‘being out of balance’. Because we know at some level that it is possible to feel centered, grounded, and harmonious more often. And from a physical perspective, the body and brain, love to be in homeostasis. Which is about balance, calmness and efficient use of energy.
So how do we create that feeling of balance as the default, rather have it show up as an occasional visitor?
Let me tell you what I use and recommend…
Balance Strategy Number 1: Knowing what we are dealing with
I saw The Walk movie the other day that followed high rope walker Phillipe Petit as he crossed the Twin Towers in NYC. Here is someone that’s life depends on ‘balance’, but do you want to know a secret?
A tight-rope walker is ‘out of balance’ most of the time.
‘Seriously?’ I hear you incredulously ask. 😉
And my response is yes. The tight-rope walker is constantly using their pole to bring them back to that centre line. And the better the performer, the more they ‘look’ to be in perfect balance. And here is the reason why…
They have a high level of conscious attention dedicated to their internal and external environment and as soon as they feel themselves going too far one way or the other, they use their pole to bring them back into a semblance of balance. The better the performer the more attuned they are, the more quickly they can respond, and the less movement they have to make. They also don’t wait until they are completely out of balance before they self correct (and yes there is a HUGE lesson in that ;-)).
So the takeaways are:
Being in perfect balance all the time is a myth. Being in balance is more like a dance.
Being conscious of your internal and external environment allows you to make adjustments as required.
Don’t leave yourself to get totally out of balance before you choose to do something. Seriously. Don’t! Stop doing that! Now! 😉
Balance Strategy Number 2: More on this consciousness thing
The consciousness thing is worthy of further attention. The more conscious we are, the better decisions we make, and therefore the better results we are likely to get.
So being out of balance isn’t a thing that is done to us; it is a consequence of not paying attention to our internal and external environment – because like I said the bodies default is homeostasis, aka balance and harmony.
We need to be more conscious of our decisions. We need to be conscious of not saying YES to things when we don’t have the time, energy or inclination to partake in them. We need to be conscious of when we are a 7/10 and feeling a little out of balance and therefore time to do something about it. As opposed to waiting until we are a 9.87/10 in the ‘out of balance’ stakes before we choose to do something.
We consciously create more balance in our lives, by the quality of our choices.
YOU have all the power.
You might peeve some people off along the way, but hey, you need to live with yourself 24/7 so better to peeve them off than peeve yourself off. Really. Think about it. 😉
Balance Strategy Number 3: Better questions
A lot of my clients, and myself at times, get stuck when it comes to the balance thing, when we start asking low quality questions.
A client the other day (a yoga teacher) was saying she was struggling to find a balance between becoming an even better teacher (and doing the work associated with that) and having more play and fun in her life.
So I said, ‘What would it look like if you combined the two of them? What if you combined more play with your work?’
Then I sat back and watched the wheels of her powerful mind spin into gear. She realised that if she brought more fun into her teaching, and her learning, she could actually have a whole lot more fun, a whole lot of the time.
We often got brought up being taught we can choose A or B. So we still think like that. When a better thought would be a powerful question like, ‘how can I have both in my life?’ Get that brilliant mind of yours fired up. The great answers are always waiting for an equally great question.
Always, always, always, consider asking an even better question.
Balance Strategy Bonus: A practical thing I do that might be useful for you…
The big parts of my life are work, relationships and self care. All of those take a piece from my 100% of energy I have available. And all are very important to me to feel fulfilled in life.
So by being conscious and maintaining perspective of my external and internal environment, I realise that I cannot divide my energy equally between those 3 parts all the time. Maybe I have some work stuff that is going to take up an excessive amount of time and energy. So this is what I do…
I get clear of the work and how much energy and time it will take (in this case let’s say it will take 60% of my energy for 2 weeks).
I then look at how I can take care of myself in this 2 weeks by doing the most important things (movement, rest, eating quality food) to a standard that will maintain my level of energy and vitality.
Then with my relationship I communicate what is happening with work, what it will mean, what I will be able to commit to, how long I will be immersed in my project, etc. and then I honour that.
So from the outside I may look like I am ‘out of balance’ for a period of time. But I realise I can never be in 100% balance, 100% of the time. So I consciously maintain perspective on the 3 big parts of my life and accept that there will be times that I am definitely not in balance (on paper), and introduce strategies and agreements to compensate for it.
I also only use this as a shorter term strategy and I review it often (aka conscious awareness ;-)).
In Summary
The main thing is to not think there is a magical place where you are in perfect balance 100% of the time. Realise that life requires your attention so you can correct things as you go. The more conscious you are, the smaller the adjustments. The more you deal with 7/10 issues when they arise, the less you will be dealing with red-zone cases.
Ask better questions, to help you work through conflicts. Are they conflicts? Could they work together? Is there a better way to do things? Do I need to re-prioritize what I have committed to? What could I say ‘no’ to? Is (X) helping me to get to where I most desire to be?
Are you ready to bring more balance in your life? To get more conscious of what is working and what is not working? To slow down and get better perspective? What do you need to do now, or today, to bring more balance into your life?
You have got it! One last thing, breathe. It helps you make better decisions (and stops you from turning blue ;-)).
Have an awesomely great day and all the very best!!
As always, please ask questions of me, or share your thoughts in a response email or by putting a post on Facebook.