Let me just dive straight in with the first strategy…
Strategy 1: Get present
For those who are a big fan of getting gifts, I am sure you are a wee disappointed there is no ‘s’ on the end of ‘present’. The only challenge with that strategy is that it is dependent on others. We are after guaranteed outcomes, so are heading another direction. ;-)Yes. This is about doing the ‘in the now’ thing. It takes an effort, but it is possible to bring your attention fully into the activity in front of you. And the good thing about that is it stops the over-activity in your mind thinking about the past or future (where 90% of discomfort exists). It is SO calming when you become fully present in this moment. Your conversations with others are so much better. Your results are so much better. You can relax so much more.
How I do it:
- I have a post-it note on my diary which says ‘Slow. Calm. Deliberate.’ They are trigger words to remind me to come into the now. I play them in my head often through the day
- I take a few big deep breath’s once I come back.
- Then I pay more attention to my senses (and body feelings).
Strategy 2: Get Clear
It is so hard to say ‘yes’ or ‘no’ if you are not clear about what you want or where you are going. Now both you and I know this is harder said, than done. It takes specific time, energy and effort. But it is so worth it. The thing you want, or where you want to go, does not have to be mountain-sized or relevant for the next 20 years. For example, you could decide for the next 2 weeks, ‘I want to do no socialising, so I can recharge my batteries’. So much easier to say ‘no’ once you get clear.
How I do it:
- For the big stuff, I block out a couple of hours. Find the right spot. Have pen and paper handy and then have a play with it. Often I do this weekly.
- Each day in the morning, I get clear about what is most important for me to get done in the day and I write it down, plus I schedule it on my calendar. When I have no daily plan I feel more stressed, because I am not sure if what I am doing is the most important thing to be doing.
- I also get outside help to help me get really clear on the big stuff.
Strategy 3: Spend more time with INSPIRING people
You know it! I know you know it.
I am just reminding you…again. 😉 Go out of your way daily & weekly to contact with people and schedule a time to meet those people who you feel most inspired and energised by. Whether that is in person or with a call (an SMS or instant message does not cut it in this). Make the effort. It is SO worth it.
How I do it:
- I reach out with people and book times to talk.
- I organise to meet people socially, who inspire me.
- I ask people if we can meet. (Don’t wait for someone to ask you. Take control of your well-being.)
Strategy 4: Are you ready for some NLP action?
The pictures in our minds, impact how we feel. To change how we feel, we can change how we represent pictures in our minds. Really. This works. Try it out.
Here’s what to do:
If you have a picture in your mind that causes you to ‘feel bad’ (a person or event), make the picture smaller, push it into the distance and make it black and white. And also make it a still picture. It will change the emotional intensity you feel. And it happens quickly.
On the other hand, if you want to increase the feelings of a good event and picture in your mind, make it more vibrant. More colourful. More lively. More fun. More sensory inputs. It will make you feel even better.
Strategy 5: Let go (a lot more often)
This is a simple concept, but can be hard for us to enact. Because we think we need to hang on tightly to our beliefs, our habits, our personalities, our thoughts, our connections, our ideas, our projects, and our stories, or the world will end. We think we will become lost.
But I have found that letting go is extremely liberating. It requires less force. It creates room for something better. It releases things that are no longer useful in this ever changing universe of ours. Everything in nature is in constant change. It is actually our nature too. We need to be more flow and less force. We need to be ok with upgrading our 1990’s software (ideas, habits, beliefs, etc.). Even our software from 2014.
Let go of that which does not serve you. It is normal. It is natural. It is necessary (especially if you want to be more chilled out ;-)).
How I do it:
- I have another Post-It note that says…’Let Go’.
- When I feel myself stuck, or forcing something, or getting frustrated, or angry, I bring to mind the idea of ‘letting go’ and see if that is what I need to do.
- I also focus on breathing out with a sigh when I want to let something go (or just relax).
Let go of any idea that life is a fight or contest. Life is an experience. A journey into the unknown. An adventure. A chance to evolve. And don’t take yourself too seriously (I am reminding myself of that too ;-)).
My Final Words
Which of these strategies can you work on today? What do you need more of, or less of? What do you need to start doing, or stop doing?
I wish you a fantastic and enjoyable couple of weeks, until we talk again.
As always, please ask questions of me, or share your thoughts in a response email or by putting a post on Facebook.