Today’s tip comes from a very unexpected place.
The kitchen.
To be more precise the Australian MasterChef kitchen.
Compliments of ‘Pezza’ (aka: Josh Perry).
Thanks Pezza!
Pezza was the recent runner-up in the 2024 Australian MasterChef series.
He won AU$40,000 for his efforts and learned a whole bunch along the way.
Except the thing I want to share with you today.
Self-Fulfilling Prophecies
I liked Pezza.
He was a pretty solid, salt-of-the earth, and an all-round good guy.
A Tasmanian butcher, and father of 3 kids.
A lot of great things came out of his mouth over the competition, except one thing which made me cringe every time he said it.
And he said it A LOT!
I think I heard him say it close to 20 times.
It was…
“I always come second place.”
It was his “story”.
It was his history.
It was his personal identity.
And from my perspective it was also his Achilles heel.
Since he was so identified with his place in life – second place – was he actually (subconsciously) contributing to the outcome?
I personally think so.
At the very least, he was certainly not helping his cause, or his evolution to the winners podium.
Here is why I believe this…
Priming our brains
There is a saying in my field that the mind does not know the difference between something real and something vividly imagined.
The compelling vision of ‘always‘ coming second, while maintaining a strong emotional charge is very likely to prime the brain – in particular the reticular activating system – that the result you MOST desire is second place.
Because you are attached to that vision, and have a strong emotional attachment to that vision, the mind is of the opinion that that is what you actually want.
Coupled with the statement of “ALWAYS” (aka: 100% of the time), you are cutting off any other possibility, or making it a much lower probability of getting the thing you are not priming your brain for (i.e. winning first place).
So whether the subconscious brain is 100% responsible for the attainment of 2nd place can not be established with absolute certainty. But what can be established with a pretty high degree of certainty is that the internal dialogue and mantra about coming 2nd place, is not helping get to 1st place.
There is also another practical thing at play.
Effects on Behaviour
If we have a story that we “ALWAYS come second“, what do you think happens when in competition and something ‘goes wrong’?
Do you think the probability of experiencing a set-back and it triggering the re-telling of the story of ‘ALWAYS coming second’ is higher or lower, if the origin story is about coming 2nd?
And do you think there is less chance of someone digging in deep, and giving that extra push towards the finish line, if they are ‘resigned‘ to the (perceived) ‘FACT’ that they ALWAYS come 2nd?
Because of their story, they are likely to experience emotions and behaviour that are in alignment with the story that have personally identified with.
Our stories effect our emotions, which impacts our behaviour, which influences our RESULTS.
Our words and internal dialogue matter.
Our internal dialogue needs to be focused on what we DO WANT, not what we DON’T want.
If we want to come 1st, telling (and re-telling) a story about ALWAYS coming 2nd is not going to do us any favours.
So…
Are you telling yourself – too often – a story of what you DON’T WANT in life, while in an elevated emotional state?
Please stay extra vigilant, so you don’t make life any harder than it needs to be.
In Summary
Can I say with absolute certainty that 100% of the time, telling a story of what you DON’T WANT will cause that very thing to happen?
No.
But I can tell you with a very high degree of certainty that it is VERY UNLIKELY to be of any benefit.
Thanks very much Pezza for the lesson.
But now might be your time to rewrite the story.
New story = new potential outcome.
My Parting Words
What I said in the Summary, pretty much says it all.
Saying what we don’t want, repetitively, with absolutism language (i.e. ‘always’), and with an elevated emotional state is (VERY) unlikely going to help us get what we DO want.
To increase the probability (and brain priming) of getting what we want, we need to plant the right seeds in the fertile garden of our minds.
Don’t plant CARROTS in fertile soil, and water them with your emotions, if what you REALLY want is CELERY.
I know you know what I mean.
So I am going to ask again.
Are you telling yourself any stories, or strongly identifying with something you don’t want?
If so, flip the script.
Start with, “What I do want is….”
And you just increased the likelihood of that happening by about 200%!!!
Have a great day aligning your thoughts and stories with your desires, and a week where you rewrite the stories all in your favour.
Take care
Carl
Quotable QUOTE:“Our stories effect our emotions, which impacts our behaviour, which influences our RESULTS.” Carl Massy
PS: Have you read or listened to this book yet? 18 Ways We Make Life WAY Harder Than It Needs To Be
