If you have followed me for awhile you know I am a HUGE fan of this thing called Self Care. But here is the thing I have noticed of late, with myself, my friends and my clients.
What used to be good enough for self-care, in order to maintain a healthy sense of well-being, health, vitality and zest for life, is not really cutting the mustard these days. In plain English – the daily self care practices I have performed in the last 10 years, do not seem effective enough for my optimum vitality, health and psychological well-being, in the current environment.
My old self care drills are helping me ‘survive’ in a sense, but they don’t seem to be enough to make me thrive.
With this feedback I decided it was time for me to go back to the ‘optimized living’ drawing board.
Author: cm_admin
Just recently I recorded a 3-Part Series on Decision Making Mastery on my LIFE MASTERCLASS Podcast series, which I figured would be of value and benefit for you. I also thought if you got something out of these presentations, you might then do yourself a favour and grab a copy of my book too. 😉
The 3-Part Series includes the following three presentations, which you can watch on YouTube (the links below will take you to the YouTube presentations):
My first point is to highlight the fact that making decisions uses energy. The brain consumes about 20% of the energy produced by the body, and doing critical thinking (like making decisions) by firing up the prefrontal cortex of the brain is one of the major energy users in the brain.
If we want more energy and vitality each and every day, we need to be extra conscious about have we use and consume our energy. Make sense?
The second point I would like to make is that during times of uncertainty, especially where there are a lot of things happening in your environment that are beyond your control, the brain is likely to be in an elevated state of alertness (to keep you ‘safe’), which is also a major energy consumer.
Get ready, because I am going to plug my new book – Decision Making Mastery: Become a Skillful and Conscious Co-Creator in Your Destiny – in the very first part of this blog post. Check it out. Okay. Done.
Now to share with you one of the elements I talk about in my book, that I think is really important for us to acknowledge, understand and practice in our own lives. And yes, you already know what it is. It is about changing your mind.
My observation
At the time of writing this, I have been doing this thing called ‘coaching’ for over 13 years now. I have worked with 100’s of people from all walks of life. I have observed them make lots of great decisions, and I have observed them make some terrible decisions (myself included).
What I have come to know as a ‘fact’ is we all make bad decisions.
I am never too proud (or self inflated in my smartness) to take the good advice offered to me by those around me. In this case it is the wise examples of our pooch – Apple – who is currently 13-years old (or 91 in ‘dog years’).
I often tell my coaching clients to look into nature for the answers to some (and sometimes all) of the challenges they might be facing. I ask them, what can you learn from observing mother nature? How does she deal with a similar situation?
This time I decided to pay attention to what my pooch is showing me is the way to live a joyful, fulfilling and carefree life.
Our dog obviously behaved herself in a former life and therefore came into the world into a caring and loving family, so she got off to a good start.
On the back-end of 2020, I decided that when I sat down and gave my full attention to what I wanted out of this new year, I would take an even deeper approach to that question.
And as I like to teach: great answers come from great questions.
‘What do I want in 2021?’ is a pretty lame question; so it did not get any attention. And to merely ask what I wanted to do in 2021 was still not cutting the grade. It was not taking the conversation deep enough.
After a very whacky 2020 and the fallout still washing over into 2021, it was time to go a lot deeper. So I headed to my favourite bungalow in Candi Dasa (at Pondok Pisang), and while sitting on a sun bed, looking out over nothing but the ocean and the skyline, I got out my diary and worked on answering a number of questions to the best of my ability.
I have read 100’s of books over the last 20 years, when I made a commitment to self education through reading non-Fiction books. It really was a game changer for me. Here is a list of some of my favourites – by topic. I have an asterix besides some of my more favourite favourites. I like to read quite broadly, so that I am more likely to come up with novel and creative ideas, but putting different pieces together in unique ways.
Generally I have 2-4 books going at once.
- A business related book
- A self-help book
- A more technical book to enhance my skills as a coach (e.g. psychology, neuroscience, epigenetics, nutrition, etc.)
- A fiction book (mostly something far removed from ‘reality’, but with good messages built into them)
ESSENTIAL WAY 1: Sorry in advance, but this might be uncomfortable
That title sounds like a line a doctor might use when you are in a compromising position on an examination table and they are adjusting the rubber glove on their right hand…
One of the things I have witnessed, doing this coaching and therapy thing for the last 13 years, is people’s avoidance for wading through crap. No surprises there.
The crap I am referring to in this case is the collection of stuff in our past that is stored in the quagmire pit of things that were not fun, comfortable, or pleasurable (and usually from our past).
Here is what I have also learned (and I am sure you have too).
IDEA 1: Contrary to popular belief…one size does not fit all
We are unfortunately, and more recently, being bombarded with the idea that ONE SIZE FITS ALL.
I have to tell you – that is just not true.
If I had you stand in a small group of say 7.8 billion people, you would be the only one with a finger print that looks the way yours does. In 7.8 billion people, something that is about 1/5000th of the whole you, is completely unique. AMAZING!!!
This means the whole you is SO unique, the very thought that one size fits all see
ms ludicrous.
One size does not fit all when it comes to:
TIP 1: Probably not what you were expecting (sorry)
I may have mentioned to some of you in the past that I intended to write 5 books in 10 years, centred around the Guidebook Series. The planned number 4 book was going to be The Guidebook to Outstanding Relationships.
As with my other books, I spend time on the outline and principle teachings I want to infuse in the book. What I found in this process was that 75% of the book would actually be about working on yourself! Which I had already written about in my first three books.
It confirmed for me that if you want to be in a high-vibe, deep and meaningful relationship, the first and on-going part was to work on yourself – constantly.