Words.
I think you know where this is likely to go.
Over the last week I was stewing and stomping and grumbling and growling and building things up in my mind to be a lot bigger than in reality they were. I was triggered by something on a Monday related to another person and my business, then stewed about it all week. It put me in a less than optimum mood when I had a couple of conversations through the week, that related to this unresolved thing.
I was telling myself, that I would take care of it when we had a formal meeting in several days time. Though in the meantime I was allowing my frustration (and STORIES & MEANING I was giving the situation) to take on a life of its own. It was making me less than my joyful, pleasurable self. 🙂
If you have read any of my writing you know that I am fascinated by what it takes to get more of what we really want, with the least amount of energy, time and resources.
I want to know what it takes to experience life to its fullest. To fully evolve. To have a life experience that is something to write about. And not just in theory. I want to know HOW to change the change the course of my life and the lives of others.
I also realise now that if we make what may seem like a small change now, in 12-months time we are living a completely different life experience.
Plus I realise that the CHOICES we make are the building blocks of our DESTINY. You have the power to change the course of your life. From moment to moment, by the quality of your choices.
And finally I realise that we have been given the gift of ‘free will’ by life. We always have a choice; even if the choice is on how we choose to respond to life’s events. In the end, we always have a choice in shaping our destiny.
So here are two things which will change the course of your life.
Hello again.
Did you know that I have been writing a newsletter and ‘Tips’ since 2005? That is a LOT of Tips and sometimes I get myself into a wee tail-spin trying to figure out the best way to serve you. I generally ask myself “What is the most relevant and impactful thing I can share with you today?” and then trust that the most useful stuff will bubble to the surface.
This is what bubbled up today…
“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.”So here are some of the words I work with my clients on being more conscious of, in order to propel their success, and to let go of the stuff that is not swerving them.
Just to make sure I am talking to the right person.
Hands up if you have received any form of communication from a friend, colleague, intimate partner, or boss in the last few weeks that made you feel like you had been sucker punched in the stomach?
One of those messages, where you feel this sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach.
It might come up as a feeling of fear, disappointment, rage, indignation, frustration, disbelief, or seething anger. Ouch!
Has that happened to you recently or in the near past?
If so, then read on. If not, then read on (as it will ;-))
As I said I have been on the personal growth journey since Easter 1999. That is when I woke up (and no it was not when I joined a cult and got forgiven for my sins if I did X, Y, and Z … and gave them $10,000 to show my level of commitment ;-)).
Though I did have the right teacher for me, saying the right things, in the right way, at the right time for me to wake up.
I used to tell myself that I was ‘unlucky’. I would always be the one caught with their hand in the cookie jar, or throwing that rock at something I shouldn’t, or saying the wrong thing to someone and making them cry.
I was BLAMING circumstances and people OUTSIDE of myself for the problems I had in my life.
Now when I talk about ‘desires’ I am talking about the ones you have thought about and have purposefully planted, as opposed to the desires that talk to that animal part of your brain and pull you in numerous different directions, plus they often come with literal or metaphorical hang-overs. 😉
So…are you ready to learn even more about the brain? Your brain. That incredibly powerful tool at your disposal that often stands between mediocrity and joyful success and happiness.
It turns out that willpower trumps IQ when it comes to success. When researchers measured the willpower of children, and their IQ, they found that willpower was a bigger determinate of whether a child would be successful, as opposed to IQ. No surprises really. I like the saying that successful people do the things that unsuccessful people refuse to do, not because they want to do them, but because they know it needs to be done. The tool they use is WILLPOWER. Like my favourite Michael Beckwith quote: “What does not feeling like it have to do with it?”
This might just be my favourite subject…
 
I spent about 45 mins the other day in a session with one of my clients helping them with improving their decision making abilities. It is definitely a teachable skill.
It is pretty obvious to me – and I suspect you will agree – that the choices we make, based on our decision-making process (or lack of one ;-)) have an enormous impact on the quality of our lives. It impacts the amount of joy we experience, and the amount of unproductive or negative stress in our daily lives.
Let’s get started (and these are not necessarily in priority order).
I am still trying to deal with a problem in my life as the result of a very bad decision I made at the end of 2007. I decided to invest a good chunk of my nest egg into a business I knew nothing about, with people who I had a strong gut feeling did not share my personal values (plus I hardly knew them), and with other people that later turned out to be liars, thieves and bullies (who I definitely did not know).
Does the word ‘stupid’ come to mind for you as well? 😉
Hands up if you have made unconscious / poor / rushed / bad / thoughtless / etc. decisions in the past that end up dragging behind you for months, years or decades? I expect that there are a lot of hands up in the air. We are in this together!
The first thing is unfortunately this is how we best learn. By making mistakes. By getting things wrong. By getting feedback that the decision we made was a ‘bad’ one. Even when I am in the middle of a complete mess, I have a little part of me that reminds me that everything in life is an opportunity to LEARN and GROW. This does not make it easier, but it does give the experience more meaning.