Category: Fear

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consciousness Fear Feeling Growth Negative Emotions Perspective

When Pride is Not A Good Thing

Extract from 18 Ways We Make Life Way Harder Than It Needs To Be by Carl Massy (WAY 16)

“Pride costs us more than hunger, thirst, and cold.”

Thomas Jefferson (US President and primary Author of US Declaration of Independence)

I think most of us were taught that ‘pride’ is a good thing. To feel proud for who and what we are. To take pride in what we do. To take pride in what we have achieved – be it over the course of our lives or over the last few weeks working on a new project at work, which we totally nailed!

So yes, pride can be a good thing. But like many things, there can be another side to it, when taken to extreme. It is like all great virtues. They are great when they are applied in a conscious self-aware way. Too much bravery and someone can become reckless. Too much loyalty and someone can be taken advantage of or stuck in something for longer than is healthy. Too much single-mindedness and someone can meander down the wrong path. Too much flexibility and someone can be all over the place.

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Belief Choice Doubt Fear Feeling Growth Life Lessons Overwhelm

This Can Break The Dam Wall of Worry

This article is for anyone that does, or is currently doing, the WORRY thing.

It’s a story about what I recently did (about 30 mins before writing) to break the dam of worry that had been looming over me for days.

If you read last weeks post, I spoke about getting triggered putting up ‘For Sale’ signs around my neighborhood, as we are in the process of selling our house in Bali (while doing a build at the same time).

So I am juggling a few balls in the air.

Which I am sure that you can relate to.

I am 100% sure.

Rarely have we got all of our ducks lined up so we can kick back with our feet up, and be in blissful rapture.

The price of wanting to live an extraordinary life is there will be a bit of resistance, disruption, set-back and frustration.

It’s the ticket price to play life at the next level.

So I know that you know what I am talking about.

Life can get pretty overwhelming at times.

And then we can do this worry thing.

Which I like to thank my mum for teaching me.

She taught me well.

Just joking mum!!

(Sort of).

So that takes me to one of my main points of today’s ‘lessons’.

Drum roll please maestro…

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Fear Feeling Life Lessons Negative Emotions Perspective Problem

How to Stop Getting Triggered

One of the primary things I do when working with new clients is have them record when they get TRIGGERED.

This information is gold dust.

Outstanding feedback.

BUT…only if you do something with it.

We all get triggered.

But IT is the wisest among us who learn from it, in order to grow and evolve and to not get triggered (as much or not at all) next time.

Firstly let me define what I mean by ‘Getting Triggered‘.

It is essentially any time where we are reactively taken out of an elevated emotional state, neutral state or homeostasis, and dropped into a survival emotional state. Essentially the amygdala has determined there is some sort of physical threat, so it activates the sympathetic nervous system, and we have a physiological fight, flight or freeze response. This does not include automatic responses to real physical threats.

Sometimes we are ‘positively’ triggered and that is awesome and another great thing to learn from.

Thumbs up and now do more of that.

However, for this article (and your ongoing well-being) I am more interested in the ‘negative‘ triggers, and the bigger the trigger, the more (loving) attention we need to give them.

Examples include: getting triggered by an email, getting triggered while driving on the road, getting triggered by your partner or friends, getting triggered by people wearing face masks while alone on a beach, getting triggered by being told ‘no’, getting triggered by people riding motorbikes through intersections while texting on their phones, etc..

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Choice Emotional Fear Growth Life Lessons

A Sneak Peak Inside My Next Book

I have been threatening to send you a sample from my upcoming book, so here is the PREFACE, which gives you a sense of where I am going with the book, plus I get to share with you some of my (mis)adventures and insights along the way.

Please enjoy.

PREFACE

“It is through science that we prove, but through intuition that we discover.”

Henry Poincare (French Mathematician)

Have you ever been to Bali (Indonesia)?

What a magical place. Beaches. Balinese massages. Sunshine. Great surfing. Outstanding food (did anyone tell you Bali is a food mecca?). Beautiful local people. Such an amazing place to relocate to, in order to start the next phase of your life journey and professional transition. What could possibly go wrong?

And yes, I was chuckling as I wrote that line, as I am sure at some points in your life you have uttered those very same magical and fateful words. “What could possibly go wrong?”

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Categories
Choice consciousness Fear Feeling Perspective Self Love Success

You Can’t Do This and Expect to be Happy

Do you want to be happy?

Or happier?

I am pretty sure – about 99.999% – that your response to those questions is a resounding “OF COURSE!”.

So today we are going to talk about one thing not to do if you want to have a happy life existence.

It’s a pretty simple concept (like most things I teach), but it has major ramifications.

The image that comes to mind when I think about this topic is a wheelbarrow I was using the other day, while hauling bricks.

The wheel was a little wobbly (out of alignment) and it was WAY HARD to keep things moving in the direction of the drop-off point.

At one point the wheelbarrow veered off to the side and I lost the load (and nearly tore a muscle or three); so I had to start again from scratch.

TOO much effort required.

So what was the solution?

Simple.

The wheelbarrow needed the nuts on the axle tightened, so the wheel would come back into alignment and perform the role it was designed for.

Moving smoothly, in a straight line.

When things are out of alignment, life gets tougher.

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Categories
Emotional Fear Feeling Negative Emotions Overwhelm Stress

The Consequences of (Emotional) Junk in the Trunk

This is probably one of the most important articles I have written for awhile.

It was inspired by another book I recently read (no surprises there) from Dr Sarno.

The book is called ‘The Divided Mind‘.

It delves into the relationship between the mind, body, emotions and their inter-relationship.

There was also a recent session with a client where I was showing on a whiteboard the consequences – in day-to-day living – if we have too much junk in the trunk.

Or what I am collectively calling suppressed and repressed emotions.

I won’t be writing too deeply into the psychological aspects, but we will go deep enough to make this practical for you.

However I feel I ought prefix that this is REALLY important stuff to know.

What you do with this knowing is then up to you.

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Categories
Acceptance Choice Emotional Fear Growth Pain

A “7th” Way We Make Life Harder Than It Needs to Be

You do know I could go all year on this topic.

And I am now committed to writing a short, compact book, on 18 ways we make life harder than it needs to be (and more easeful alternatives), which will be published by the end of the year.

But for now, we will keep the conversation going, which we started 2 weeks ago.

If you didn’t see the first list of 5, check it out here.

This week, we will continue the theme.

Essentially the theme is this:

By the choices we do or don’t make and the actions we do or don’t take, we make life much HARDER than it needs to be in the long-term and for a majority of our waking hours.

And for you, me and everyone on the planet, I think we could all do with less HARD and more PEACE.

Plus if we do hard, it is because we chose to, knowing the highly positive benefits at the back end.

So let the conversation continue…

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Categories
Choice consciousness Decision Making Emotional Fear Life Lessons Perspective

5 Ways We Accidently Make Life Harder Than It Needs to be

Hands up if you want a ‘hard’ life?

I am guessing we had about 0% of hands showing.

I reckon the numbers would swing back to approximately 100% if I asked who wants more PEACE in their lives!

Who wouldn’t?

So let’s imagine at one end of the spectrum there is HARD and the other end is PEACE.

This article is about what we mostly ‘unconsciously’ (or accidentally) do, which sends us closer to the HARD end of the spectrum, and what we can do to move closer to the PEACE end of town.

So let’s dive straight in with the first way we make life harder.

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Categories
consciousness Fear Growth Life Lessons Perspective Stress Success

Why Do We Rush and What’s The Cost?

Is life a sacred journey for you?

If not, would you actually like it to be a more sacred experience, rather than a race on the hamster wheel?

These days in my business I am MUCH more interested in working with awesome humans people who want to focus more on EVOLUTION (as a whole being), rather than having a “6-figure” (plus) salary or business. Boring!

In the bigger picture, isn’t it more fulfilling to have a sacred life experience, as opposed to being part of a mob of mad racers scrambling for the finish line?

Or a race to amass the most impressive pile of possessions.

Now I am not saying we have to live like paupers to have a sacred life, but I am questioning (which is a good thing) the crazy rush to somewhere we are probably are not even sure we know, or even want.

So today, let’s talk about “What the frigging hell is the rush?!?!”

And the idea of a spiritual journey, as opposed to trying to get “there” quickly.

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Categories
Belief Doubt Fear Life Lessons Perspective

Discover the Right Way to use Fear

Dealing with Fear

I often have clients tell me it is ‘fear’ which is stopping them from having a greater life experience, or it is the thing that is ‘holding them back from (insert the thing they desire)’. Fear is something I have come to understand a lot better within my clients, and within myself as well.

And like all things in this game of life, I often see a fork in the road. One way leads to learning and growth and the other leads to a downward spiral or something like ‘Ground Hog’ day. This fear thing can take us down the path of learning, growing and ultimately EVOLUTION, or it can leaves us marking time on the spot, or even going backwards.

The first thing I have come to notice when working with people, is often they have used the ‘fear’ line of response so often or unconsciously, that the fear thing is WAY bigger and way less tangible than is useful. It becomes a generic thing, rather than a specific thing. In it’s generic and undefined form it is of limited usefulness and can seem somewhat scary.

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