Category: Perspective

Categories
consciousness Decision Making Growth Life Lessons Overwhelm Perspective Stress Success

Mental Pushing And Pulling – Thanks To Our Biology

Where to start?

How about with the name of the book I just finished reading, which shared pretty interesting insights. The book was called: ‘Why You’re Unhappy’ by Loretta Graziano Breuning, PhD.

I didn’t agree with everything she presented, but because she has a background in anthropology as well as psychology, it brought a nice perspective to her discussion on biology.

And the influence on our feelings and behaviours.

She spoke a lot about the individual roles of dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin, endorphins and cortisol; and how they are primarily used for survival (and reproduction of genes), as with all mammals.

I have talked before about the ‘mid’ brain, also called the limbic brain or mammalian brain.

It has a number of functions including regulation and generation of our emotions, which obviously affects us moment-to-moment and day-to-day.

I found a few things in this book especially fascinating.

Particularly the author’s overarching message.

We are not – biologically – designed to be ‘happy’ all the time.

It is not only okay, but “normal” to feel our emotions go up and go down throughout our day and life in general.

I think that is a great point.

If we EXPECT to be happy, all the time, or think there is something “wrong” with us if we aren’t, then we may be fighting reality.

What I also found fascinating was…

Continue reading “Mental Pushing And Pulling – Thanks To Our Biology”
Categories
Choice Decision Making Perspective Success

The Bigger The ‘Gap’, The Bigger The Frustration & Disappointment

Let’s jump straight in.

Have you ever heard the following statement or philosophy?

The size of the GAP between the REALITY and your EXPECTATIONS, determines the amount of discomfort (frustration, anger, disappointment, etc.) you will experience.

As shown in my diagram further down.

Small GAP = small discomfort.

BIG GAP = BIG (emotional) PAIN. So today I want to look at the biggest EXPECTATION Boo-Boo’s (aka: mistakes) many people erroneously make.

Continue reading “The Bigger The ‘Gap’, The Bigger The Frustration & Disappointment”
Categories
Choice Happiness Tips Joy Perspective Success

Learn a Simple Neurological Mood Booster

Who likes easy?

I know hard is where we build up our muscles.

BUT I do like the idea of a mix of easy, hard, and very little harder-than-it-NEEDS-to-be.

Life doesn’t have to be all about hard, sweaty, and grunts and groans for us to be succeeding.

Let’s sprinkle in a bit of easy with today’s tip on boosting our mood.

You know I am a fan of the idea that we can actually (self) create an elevated emotion state in our bodies, which causes a specific set of neuro-chemicals and hormones to be released throughout the body.

Re-enforcing the created feeling and supporting our overall health and well-being.

I want to take that concept, and a concept I read recently in a book by a Stanford behavioural scientist – BJ Fogg – called Tiny Habits (which I will review for you in a couple of weeks when I finish it).

Continue reading “Learn a Simple Neurological Mood Booster”
Categories
Acceptance Doubt Emotional Growth Life Lessons Meditation Perspective Stress

How is Your Patience Going? Want More?

So…

How is your patience?

If you are anything like me, then at times it is crap.

I was just talking to my partner – Ferry – about ‘having patience’ the other night, as we transit between our farm and our ‘main’ house, waiting for the sale of our ‘main’ house, before we finish building our other ‘main’ house on our farm.

I don’t like mortgages, so I need to exercise the ‘patience’ to wait for the sale of our house, which is dragging on, and on and on…

So I have spent intimate time face-to-face with the thing called patience of late and I – as always – want to figure out how I can do it better.

At first I thought you can’t ‘force’ patience.

As in, you can’t DO stuff to make ‘more’ patience.

Because it is more about surrendering, letting go, and stepping back.

BUT…

Then I sat with and went deeper to understand patience from all angles and this is what I came up with.

Continue reading “How is Your Patience Going? Want More?”
Categories
Belief Choice Emotional Negative Emotions Perspective Problem

16 Years Coaching and This is Still The #1 Root Cause

For over 16 years I have been Coaching.

Essentially helping people get from where they are to where they want to be.

And figuring out what is in their way.

That is, what might be their greatest obstacles.

Real and PERCEIVED.

Is the obstacle a poor understanding of what they want?

Are they unclear of where they are starting from (i.e. don’t ‘know thyself’ so well)?

Is there a skill gap?

Etc.

Of all the things that disrupt people from navigating life in a meaningful, fulfilling and joyful way, something keeps showing up as numero uno Root Cause of Trouble (with a capital ‘T’) in our lives.

Continue reading “16 Years Coaching and This is Still The #1 Root Cause”
Categories
Choice Life Lessons Perspective Problem Relationship Success

Don’t Do This, If You Want What You Want

This article and insight is inspired by time spent in the kitchen the other day.

I was in the kitchen the other day with my partner Ferry (who happens to be an awesome cook).

She said something that got me thinking.

And brought us to today’s conversation.

A conversation which includes politicians, fraudsters, hypnotherapists and probably we could put a 4-year old into the mix as well.

The thing that happened with Ferry in the kitchen was this…

It was a very simple comment.

Ferry said: “Can you put some water into the kettle?” (I am pretty sure she did not say please).

As I went about this chore I am thinking exactly how much water is ‘some’?

“Some” is pretty non-descriptive.

It’s a pretty broad generalization.

Do I put in a teaspoon, a tablespoon, a half cup, a full cup, a couple of cups??

I have no clue.

Continue reading “Don’t Do This, If You Want What You Want”
Categories
Choice Feeling Growth Happiness Tips Life Purpose Perspective

Is Being Certain (all the time) What We REALLY Want?

I was listening to someone complain the other day.

It made me think of another person I had heard complaining recently.

Unfortunately, that some one was ME.

Bugger!

But it generated a great train of thought, as it lead me to this insight.

Something I sort of knew but glossed over in the whole living life thing.

The other person (who kicked off my thinking) was complaining about how something didn’t work out exactly as they planned.

And had the hump on because of that.

Something they ‘expected’ to happen, did not happen.

And their response was to get narky.

Fair enough.

But consider this…

If everything comes to pass that you expect to come to pass, HOW FRIGGIN BORING would your life be?

Continue reading “Is Being Certain (all the time) What We REALLY Want?”
Categories
Choice Feeling Goal Setting Tips Happiness Tips Life Purpose Perspective

Without Doing this, Happiness is Elusive

This might be a shorter newsletter, as the point I want to make is pretty easy to explain, and pretty easy to understand.

I am pretty sure all of us can relate to it.

But as always…

It is not just about UNDERSTANDING something; it is about DOING something with that something you are now aware of.

So here it is.

A key to happiness.

A key to making it through a tough or shitty day.

A key to making it though a batch, or bunch, of shitty days.

Continue reading “Without Doing this, Happiness is Elusive”
Categories
consciousness Emotional Feeling Optimum Health Perspective Rest Spirituality

How I Build Grit, Resilience and Determination

Do you want to good news, or the bad news first?

I think most people generally go the bad news first, so here goes.

To my knowledge, there isn’t a PILL on the market that does this job effectively.

Bugger!

The good news is you can do this yourself.

And often, without costing you anything (financially).

However, there might be some cost in sweat and tears.

Double bugger!!

One of my favourite ways to do this is to undertake consciously contrived “challenges”.

And I find the most impactful challenges (i.e. long-term benefits), are the ones which are mostly mental.

Like the 3-day water-only fast that myself, and about 20 other adventurers did last week.

Total (mental) challenge.

By building our grit, resilience, determination and discipline muscles, it makes other challenges in our life – professional and personal – seem not that hard after all.

That is the payback.

And it keeps on giving.

Continue reading “How I Build Grit, Resilience and Determination”
Categories
consciousness Decision Making Life Lessons Overwhelm Perspective

How to Stay Up-to-date Globally Without Losing Your Mind

The other day I was in conversation with friends, and we were talking about ‘world affairs’.

But the most interesting part of that conversation – for me – is how do we stay informed, without being consumed by a whole bunch of ‘bad news’?

And what do we mean being informed?

Is it informed for interest sake?

Is it informed, so we can make informed decisions in our own lives?

Is it informed so we can sound like we know what’s going on in the world to impress our friends?

And how informed do we need to be?

Lots of questions, and playing around in them can make your head spin.

So in this article I want to give you my thoughts and perspective on how to stay informed, to what level, and in a way that is beneficial for you and your lifestyle generation, plus in a way that you don’t lose your sanity, or sense of life being something precious.

Continue reading “How to Stay Up-to-date Globally Without Losing Your Mind”

Search Blog