Most of the clients I work with come in with issues or problems with balance in their life and their frustration with this thing called ‘time management’How did you go with ‘managing’ time through 2014? I know I did poorly on numerous occasions.
The Myth
I cannot remember who I first heard this from. Maybe Bob Proctor, or some other personal development teacher. But this is what they said:
Are you ok if we talk about money? It is a funny subject and lots of us have lots of whacky beliefs when it comes to money. But what I am going to share with you today is the key to increasing your income in 2015.
Now if you want to learn how best to use money and grow it once you have that increased income, then I suggest you check out Tony Robbins new book called: MONEY: Master The Game. It is his first book in 20 years, and pretty impressive and practical. So add that to your wealth creation education.
So how do you increase your income?
The concept is simple
Do you notice what is common between people who generate a high income? Whether they are on the corporate ladder, an entrepreneur, a marketer, an author or a massage therapist.
This is the secret they figured out…
Today I am going to talk about what you need to reach mastery in any field.
The right mindset
This is where you need to start.
Carol Dweck wrote a great book called ‘Mindset‘. In it she talks about two predominate types of mindset. A growth mindset and a fixed mindset.
A person with a fixed mindset thinks you are smart or not smart. Good or not good. Talented or not talented. You either have it or you don’t.
On the other hand a person with a GROWTH mindset realises the truth. They realise that you can get better at anything if you put your mind, focus, attention and effort into it. They realise the brain is like putty in their hands to be shaped and grown in accordance with how they use it.
I am trying to think how to sugar-coat this idea, but I am having a bit of challenge.Essentially it works like this. If you want to have more, You need to be more. If you want to have more success, more money, more depth in your relationship, more travels, more adventures, then you need to show up as the next best version of yourself.It turns out, the inner work comes first.
The comfort zone
When you are working out in the gym, with the intention of creating bigger muscles, or burning more calories, or transforming your body, it is a given that there is going to be some ‘discomfort’. In this setting the discomfort is pushing or pulling against a resistance.
So the fact is, there needs to be RESISTANCE to achieve GROWTH. The greater the resistance (discomfort) the greater the growth.
This is a need to know. It is what I mostly work on with clients. It is what shapes the results we get in life. It determines where we are, and where we are going. Whether we are winning or whether we are losing. Whether we are in pain or full of energy. Whether we uncover the best of us or whether we take it to the grave.
I am talking about our ‘stories’.
Also known as: beliefs, statements of ‘fact’, the ‘reality’, home truths, sayings, etc.
What they all have in common is this: they are not 100% true, 100% of the time (or anywhere near it). They are ‘true’ because we make them ‘true’. But they are not universal laws like gravity for instance. Which works in 100% of cases, 100% of the time, if you are heavier than air.
Our stories become our self-fulfilling prophecies.
Who wants to talk about pain? Not really a subject we gravitate towards.But what if it could be our health and happiness golden ticket?
What if it could be converted into the rocket fuel that leads to your evolution and a fuller expression of your potentiality? I know it is possible. I have experienced it time and again.
But here is the problem…
I have been doing a number of presentations and workshops of late and asking people how much sleep they get a night.
The current research suggests that 7.5hrs to 9hrs is ideal for about 80% of the population. Some can get a way with less, and some need more.Far too many people put their hands up for less than 7hrs sleep and many of these have less than 6hrs sleep a night – consistently. You just cannot sustain optimal living on limited sleep.
The real cost
Many people ‘think’ they can function on less sleep, but may be unaware of the real consequences. For instance many may have less positive health, reduced resilience to illness, and slow recovery from sickness.
But one of the worst consequences, I suspect, is they are achieving less than they are capable of. I think if they had more sleep of a night-time they would be able to perform more effectively, efficiently and creatively. One of the many results of getting more shut-eye of a night-time.
As I already said. The first thing to realise is we all have doubts. We are not broken, or a loser, or a failure, or damaged goods because we have doubts. We are human. We all have doubts sometimes. It is when we have too much doubt, for too long, which paralyses or stresses us, that it is time to do something about it.
My recent experience with doubt was before I delivered the presentation the other day. It is normal to feel some nerves before a talk. I always do. But those I can breathe through. This was doubt with a capital D. I started second guessing my ability to make an impact, to connect with the audience, to keep the energy going in the room, to teach and to entertain. And this doubt followed me for 30 mins into the presentation. The doubt I experienced left me when I did some of the following:
I was doing a session this week with a client on the MindBody retreat and as we were spending time delving into attachment, vulnerability, basic human needs, and a bunch of other topics; it became very clear to me that projecting an image of what you want others to think of you is not only energy consuming, but it erodes your authenticity and therefore LIKEABILITY. Not so cool…
Facebook crimes
Have you ever had (or still have) a Facebook ‘friend’ who always posts about how fabulous their life is? How fabulous their relationship is. How fabulous their holidays are. How happy they are (all the time). And even how great their pets, children, job, etc., etc., etc. are.
What are your real thoughts when you read their stuff? Not the stuff you ‘like’ or the comments you post on Facebook; but what you really think.
Were you ever told as a child to ‘stop telling stories’? Well today’s tip is all about stories and what impact that have on your life and your results in life.
The challenge
So I was doing a coaching session with a client in Copenhagen last night (unfortunately it was via Skype and not in person; because Copenhagen is such a gorgeous city). And as with most clients, my job is not only to help them identify what they want (and how to get there); a big part of my job is to say to them “that’s total crap” or “that’s absolute rubbish” (if they are more prim and proper). My job is to challenge their ‘stories’.
Because here are a couple of secrets: