While I was in Australia (Mildura) last week, I did a presentation (and a number of coaching sessions) where I asked people to raise their hands if they liked to lose.
You know what?
Funnily enough, no one raised their hands.
Though one person did suggest that it depends on the context.
Well noted.
But for this conversation, let’s assume that the vast majority of people don’t like to lose at things that they care about (they would prefer to WIN).
And one of the most important games – from my perspective – is this thing called “The Game of Life“.
I personally have somewhat of an aversion to losing.
I prefer to WIN at the things that are most important to me.
Like great relationships, optimum health, meaningful work, or having a LOT more elevated emotional experiences (joy, awe, excitement, enthusiasm, love, etc.) than survival emotions (anger, frustration, fear, doubt, etc.).
I much prefer when things go in my favour.
And do you know what makes a lot of difference in the outcome?
Whether I am “WINGING IT” (and hoping it all works out in my favour) or whether I OWN IT and roll my sleeves up to do the (right) work.
If we expect things to work in our favour – like high vitality and health – but we just wing it, the chances of winning are greatly reduced.
The odds might be a 50 / 50 or even worse.
Hence why we are going to briefly talk about hamsters and helicopters today.
Hamsters and Helicopters
Actually I don’t want to talk so much about hamsters.
Sorry for those hamster lovers.
What I did want to talk about was the actual – metaphorical –
hamster wheel.
Are you familiar with it?
If you are living in 2024, and not off-the-grid in the forest, there is a good chance you know of it (the hamster wheel), and perhaps spend a bit of time on it.
The primary point I want to make – and which I did to all my clients in Mildura this week – is that if you are trying to plan and stratgize life stuff, in order to win at the Game of Life, there is a good chance you will do a crappy job if you are trying to do it while on a hamster wheel.
There are TWO very important things you need to do.
The first being:
You need to accept the FACT that if you try and ‘wing it’ through life, and expect great results, you are going to be disappointed a LOT.
If you want to WIN at the things that matter most to you, you need to OWN IT.
Which means doing certain things, at certain at times, in certain ways.
That’s number 1.
The second thing is this:
It is really hard to play the bigger game of life to a high standard (and win most of the time) if you are too busy running around the hamster wheel and have no quality opportunity to see what and where the pieces are on the field.
Moving the parts, or making decisions, or choosing A or B, without a clear PERSPECTIVE is pretty much the equivalent of winging it.
We need to get off the hamster wheel and jump into a helicopter, to see the whole picture.
In practical words (without talking about hamsters and helicopters) it means we have to slow down, take a step away from the thing and things keeping us busy, and ZOOM out to get perspective of all the moving parts.
To see what is working or not.
To see what needs to be added or subtracted from your life.
To see where you may need to make (conscious) sacrifices in order to succeed.
To honestly see where you are REALLY at, as opposed to where you want to be, or where you like to think you are.
Winning versus Winging It
I have been using a lot of sporting metaphors of late.
The main one being whether a high performing athlete, who wants their contract renewed at the end of the season, is just going to wing it before and during the game, or whether they are going to be extremely deliberate and intentional about how they show up.
The same applies to us, and the greatest game on the planet.
If we want to succeed – authentically and holistically – in life, we really need to turn the dial up on how we show up.
And just as a caveat at this stage.
I am totally cool with people who are happy to play where they are at.
That’s totally cool providing it is a conscious choice, and you are honestly happy with where you are in life.
What inspires me less is people complaining about what is not working in their lives, and how they are not succeeding in the things that are most important to them, but are still winging it, hoping that it all works out.
Again, freedom of choice.
But know, with a very high level of certainty (maybe 98%+) that the results you get, for the things that matter, are VERY likely to be greater, if you are intentional, deliberate, committed to, and action-oriented.
Is that a fair enough statement?
Here is how I would use my thoughts on this matter:
If there is something in your life that is really important for you – maybe your relationship or health – then ZOOM out and see if there is a better way for you to play the game, in order for you to be playing with a winning hand.
And then do that.
That’s the main point I want to make.
In Summary
It turns out that if we want to succeed in a particular area of our lives, using the ‘wing it’ methodology is going to give us 50/50 odds or worse.
If decide we don’t want to ‘wing it’, then the best strategy is to: 1) get off the hamster wheel (take a break), and 2) to ZOOM out so you can get perspective, in order to make informed choices.
Then of course, the icing on the cake is taking deliberate and intentional action.
And finally, trying to ZOOM OUT, while on the hamster wheel, doesn’t work quick so well. You need to get off the path of business (pause) THEN do the zoomy thing.
My Parting Words
Maybe I could have called this article “If you don’t like losing”.
Essentially I want to encourage people to take more ownership of their strategies, plans and actions if they want to succeed in a particular area.
We are pretty much guaranteed we will get a less optimum result if we don’t take the right actions.
I would say that is pretty obvious for us all.
Once we make the decision that we want a better result, then it is essential that we take a break (and get off the hamster wheel) and really ZOOM out so we get true perspective.
Too often at this stage, someone wants to change, or get a different result, but they are not willing to step off the hamster wheel (take a real break and create space) to make it happen.
That is treating life like a sprint and not the marathon that it is.
We need to play the long game here if we want to win consistently.
It is REALLY hard to do a good job zooming out and getting perspective, if you are still in frantic motion.
We need to stop first, then zoom out.
Practically for me, that is my 2-days ‘Getaway‘ up in the mountains, or by the sea (but preferably in nature), where I have enough space in my psyche and mind to really figure sh#t out.
Or at a more micro level that is my Weekly Meeting with Me Inc..
What do you need to set up in order to get more clarity and focus in regards to your most essential pieces in the Game of Life?
On that note…
Have a day of clear intent, and a week of deep breaths, riding helicopters and greater perspective.
Take care.
Carl
Quotable QUOTE:
“It is REALLY hard to do a good job zooming out and getting perspective, if you are still in frantic motion.” Carl Massy
(Author of 18 Ways We Make Life WAY Harder Than It Needs To Be)
PS: Have you read or listened to this book yet? 18 Ways We Make Life WAY Harder Than It Needs To Be
