This is a topic I have been pondering of late, so I thought for this week’s interaction, I would invite you into my inner world, as I contemplate this thing called ‘ENOUGH‘.
And just for the record, I have a limited idea – at this stage of this article – where I will take this exploration.
But as always, I will endeavour to serve you something of use to you.
Here is the first question.
Do you ever have “issues” with wondering whether you have:
- DONE enough?
- HAVE enough?
- ARE enough?
I suspect each of us may have a bias towards one of these three ‘enough‘ choices.
For me (personally) it is generally the first that is most prevalent.
I often ask the question – mostly subconsciously – “Have I done enough?”
And the sad thing is that there is rarely a time when enough is enough.
There is generally (always) something more than can be done, but then we butt our heads against this thing called “time“, which is on a 24-hour loop, like a bloody hamster wheel.
Which of the three (3) is your enough ‘ball and chain’?
That is, what is the thing that hold you back, or drains you of energy, or makes it harder for you to truly relax and surrender into peaceful bliss?
Just like the ‘have I done enough‘ question, the ‘do I have enough‘ question is like a dog chasing its tail.
Will you EVER get to that point where you can one day, sit back with your feet up, feeling completely at peace, because you finally have enough of XYZ?
I am not sure that someone with this particular enough “issue” will ever truly know peace.
And the ability – these days – to socially compare yourself with a few other billion people on the planet, at any moment of time, doesn’t friggin help!
Which brings us to number 3…
“Am I enough?”
Eeeeeek!
We’ll come back to this one later.
Stepping into the light
The commonality between all of the enough questions is that they are all just stories, beliefs, statements, neural signals, and therefore they are not FACTS.
They are not true.
Certainly not in their abbreviated and incomplete format.
I have spoken in the past about “reframing” and also mentioned a book by the chap who wrote the Dilbert comic strips, and that is exactly what we need to do here.
We need to rewrite the script.
For me, and my “Have I done enough?” loop recording in my mind; I could make it (a lot) more true, by a minor upgrade.
So, reframe might be something like this:
“Have I done enough, for now, so I can achieve the level of result I am after, given the resources I have at my disposal?”
Can you see what happens when I/we apply the principle of “SPECIFICITY“?
Instead of an open-ended generalization which has me chasing my tail – i.e. “Have I done enough?” – it becomes a real question, that can have a real-world response to it, which then can lead me to taking specific actions.
If I know what (actually) needs doing, instead of a mythical unknown thingy-ma-jiggy, I feel a lot more at peace, and inspired to act.
Okay, now let’s tackle the other two enough’s, and see if we can rewrite them too, so they become more specific, a lot less ‘generic’, and therefore more useful.
“Do I have enough?” could be reframed to:
“Do I have a roof over my head, 2-3 meals a day, a few good people in my life and general access to any more of my ‘basic survival’ needs?”
The actual principle we are activating here is the principle of “PERSPECTIVE“.
It is when we lose perspective, that we fall down the rabbit hole of never feeling like we have enough.
Now let’s see if we can nail the 3rd ‘enough‘ question and win the trifecta.
This might be a challenge, bit I know we are up to it.
“Am I enough?”
I don’t know about you, but it feels tough for me to not only write that, but to stop and reread it. It is definitely a bit weighty.
And this one generally goes deeper than the other two.
(I actually paused in my writing to really drop into this one, because I owe you that much for coming on this journey with me).
I am going to call this the principle of “GOING INWARDS TO EXPAND OUTWARDS“.
A bit of a mouthful, but I will explain.
I need to recognise, first and foremost, that I am best not looking outwards for ‘validation’ to this question.
I need to go inwards.
Not into my MIND, for this one I need to drop into my HEART.
I need to peel back the layers and get up and personal with my heart of hearts.
The ‘centre of the magnet‘ as Dr Joe Dispenza calls it.
I need to connect to the loving, divine, wise and eternal nature of my heart.
And when I am connected to that part of my heart centre, I stir that nature even further with a very simple gesture.
I smile.
I soften my face.
I soften my gaze.
I may even close my eyes.
And when I ‘touch’ the centre of my heart, in a caring and kind way (using a simple smile), my heart starts to expand.
And according to the neuroscientists; the expansion of my heart, and its coherent electromagnetic field, actually ‘entrains’ the electromagnetic field of my brain, so the little mind asking if “I am enough”, is crowded out, and no longer holds a place on the central stage.
The heart now rules.
And (I believe) that there is a part of us, deep in our heart, that is eternal, and much bigger than small thoughts about whether we are enough.
Of course we are (you and me both)! 🙂
In Summary
The 3 most common “enough” questions are: 1) Have I done enough?; 2) Do I have enough?; and 3) Am I enough?.
The “Have I done enough?” question is best thwarted by a (real) question of SPECIFICITY.
The “Do I have enough?” question is best put back in the cage with a little dose of PERSPECTIVE.
The “Am I enough?” question becomes a non-event when the heart starts to EXPAND.
My Parting Words
I will keep this short, as this article became quite the journey.
In truth, it was also quite the journey to write, as I wrote it up in the Bali mountains, while the sun faded and night descended.
I am grateful for those of you that came on this journey with me, as I truly did not know exactly where I would be leading you, other than a strong desire for me to serve you in the best way I could.
So, I truly hope you took something of benefit from this exploration, and may find a bit more peace the next time your own personal flavour of ‘enough‘ questions, bubble to the surface of your mind.
Before you finish up, do sit with this question about which question you are most likely to ask yourself, and then look above to the antidote and try it on for size.
Mentally rehearse how you will bring yourself back to a state of peace and calm.
And on that note; I wish you all the very best on your own individual journeys.
Have a wonderfully insightful day, and a week where the ‘enough’ questions lose their power and potency over your equanimity.
Take care.
Carl
Quotable QUOTE:
“Which is your primary ‘enough’ question? Have I done enough, do I have enough, or am I enough? Know you are always (much) more than these questions.” Carl Massy
(Author of 18 Ways We Make Life WAY Harder Than It Needs To Be)
PS: Have you read or listened to this book yet? 18 Ways We Make Life WAY Harder Than It Needs To Be
