In order for you and me to be at our most awesome, we need the highest amount of ENERGY we can generate.
We do this by putting great fuel into our bodies.
Getting plenty of sunshine and fresh air.
Moving our bodies mindfully.
Staying hydrated.
Sleeping well, and a bunch of other stuff, I often talk about.
The other way to maintain high energy is to not WASTE it on stuff that is not important.
Which is where we are going today.
We will be looking at a common place people waste, mismanage, throw away and recklessly spend their valuable energy reserves.
If you waste 20% of energy on something that doesn’t add value to your life, you only have 80% in your tank to play the game of life with.
Yes, you can generate more, but that takes time.
So let’s make sure we don’t waste energy needlessly.
Which brings me to this…
Self Editing
I am using ‘Self Editing’ as a general term; but this covers a range of elements.
Essentially it is about WASTING sh#tloads of energy, time and life force on editing yourself and your life so that you are perceived by others to be something special, and at a deeper level, worthy of love.
The term self-editing came to mind as I read a book about the huge rise in mental health issues for teenagers and young adults, as a result (in the authors very well researched opinion) of self-facing camera’s on smart phones and enhanced editing features.
The author overlaid the time frame of these technologies, with the sharp spike in mental health issues, especially for teenage girls and to a slightly lower extent, teenage boys.
It is a very interesting theory and might just be bang on (the graphical data he presented was pretty compelling).
But for me, it highlighted the bigger issue with people WASTING huge amounts of energy through worry, anxiety and an overstimulated nervous system (which is burning energy at the rapid rate), on how they look or are perceived to others.
I was working with a client the other day who was so protective of their identity, that is was costing them huge amounts of energy to keep the projection in place.
And untold stress by feeling the need to DEFEND their identity.
They did not want to be seen as having any flaws (or weaknesses).
In a somewhat superficial society, they have the conscious or unconscious belief that they need to be seen as a winner, successful, competent, and good at everything, in order to feel good about themselves.
And this, unfortunately, applies to a LOT of people.
Self editing their pictures before they post them on social media.
Self editing what their life ‘looks like’ on social media, in order to feel as though they fit it, or stand out, or fill their need for significance.
Just writing about this feels draining for me.
I am SO glad I stopped giving much of a toss about what others think of me.
Plus I have been inspired by books like ‘The Gifts of Imperfection‘ by Brene Brown, and the theme that even the title implies.
Which takes us to the cure for leaking too much self-editing energy.
Dare to Suck
Dare to suck is such a great mantra and reframe for life.
I personally am crappers at a whole bunch of stuff, which I am happy to admit.
Even the things I am good at, I sometimes stuff up.
I definitely fit into the category of imperfect.
But I don’t feel a need to invest any energy (or even very little) in defending the things I suck at, or the times I inadvertently suck because I was not paying attention.
Yes I invest time, energy and effort into the things which are most important to me (like my writing, my teaching and my presenting), but I don’t waste energy on what the general public (who I am unlikely to ever meet) think about me on social media.
Or whether someone thinks my building skills (e.g. cementing and brick laying) on our mini farm are of high quality.
I don’t care what someone thinks about that.
Don’t waste energy on defending the things that don’t really matter.
Invest your precious energy into the stuff that is meaningful, fulfilling, and enriches your life.
Don’t waste energy on trying to impress people who don’t (really) matter.
And especially don’t waste energy on trying to impress people who you are never likely to meet ‘in real life’.
Don’t edit yourself.
Show up as your joyful imperfect self.
Be committed to continuous and never ending improvement, but for your benefit, and not others approval.
In Summary
Spend your precious energy wisely.
Don’t feel a need to self-edit, as it is likely causing you to waste energy (and precious time) on something that doesn’t really matter.
Embrace your imperfections.
In a world of AI and ‘flawless looking’ computer-generated images, it is likely to get to a stage where our imperfections are the things that make us unique, memorable and special (and worthy recipients of the love we desire).
Don’t edit the good stuff.
Express ‘YOU’ – loud and proud!!
My Parting word
You know I am a fan of energy.
How to generate more (increase it).
How to not waste it (decrease it).
And how to spend it most wisely.
This self-editing thing saddens me too, as I know it causes a lot of grief for many people, especially the youngest among us.
So let us ‘grown ups’ set the example.
Let’s dare to suck.
Own our imperfections.
And care less about what random people on social media think about the way you or your life looks.
Spend that time and energy potentially wasted on self-editing on something more meaningful, fulfilling, and adventurous.
The end.
On that note, have an imperfect day with your imperfect self, and laugh at your stuff-ups and blunders in the week (and months) ahead.
Take care,
Carl
PS: Have you read or listened to this book yet? 18 Ways We Make Life WAY Harder Than It Needs To Be
