I love life.
I also love a challenge.
But I also don’t like making life unnecessarily hard for myself. I want to enjoy life.
So here are 3+ simple tips to make your like more easeful and less stressful / difficult / complicated.
Just to make sure I am talking to the right person.
Hands up if you have received any form of communication from a friend, colleague, intimate partner, or boss in the last few weeks that made you feel like you had been sucker punched in the stomach?
One of those messages, where you feel this sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach.
It might come up as a feeling of fear, disappointment, rage, indignation, frustration, disbelief, or seething anger. Ouch!
Has that happened to you recently or in the near past?
If so, then read on. If not, then read on (as it will ;-))
You are lucky today.I have a few things on, so I will be writing just punchy, powerful and very relevant Tips, based on the most recent Coaching conversations I have had with my clients.Let’s get started. 😉
Tip Number 1: Pay more attention to what you are creating
This is reminder and the most common thing I work on with all my clients – regardless of what specialist type of Coaching I am doing with them.
It’s called ‘don’t shoot yourself in the foot’.
The words we use are either creating what we want, creating what we don’t want, or causing us to be stuck on a hamster wheel, where we repeat the same patterns day in an day out.
Hands up high if you have heard the statement ‘survival of the fittest’ attributed to Charles Darwin (many moons ago)?
Do you believe it?
Do you believe that the person standing solo at the top of the heap is the one that is going to survive for the longest?
Unfortunately for the health and happiness of the planet, somewhere along the line, societies as a whole have bought into the myth that the fittest, strongest, most powerful, will not only survive, but will win the race. The myth has perpetuated a collective sense (for many) that the attainment of personal glory is more important than the success of the tribe, team, family, group, company, country, etc. It has even lead many people to make unethical decisions to get to the elusive ‘top’. To lie, to cheat, to turn a blind eye, to manipulate, to compromise their values, and to neglect the impact of their actions on others.
Maybe this works for surviving (for a while); but if you would prefer to THRIVE and experience JOY, the ‘survival of the fittest game’ is a lonely one and will often mean that joy remains elusive.
If you can guess what the link is between all of the things in the title you get a special big congratulations by me. Well done! And if you don’t quite get the link, and think I am smoking the good stuff, then read on as I unpack my thinking for you. 😉
I actually had a colleague of mine ask if I could write an article on this phenomenon that he has learned over the last few months and which he brings into practice now with considerable positive effects. So what you will be reminded of, is very practical and impactful.
As a result of the Dr Joe Dispenza workshop I did recently, I also have a greater perspective on the ‘stress thing’ from a physiological and quantum physics perspective. Though I am still trying to get my head fully around the inter-dimensional time-space part of the conversation. 😉
Now let’s get started…
As I said I have been on the personal growth journey since Easter 1999. That is when I woke up (and no it was not when I joined a cult and got forgiven for my sins if I did X, Y, and Z … and gave them $10,000 to show my level of commitment ;-)).
Though I did have the right teacher for me, saying the right things, in the right way, at the right time for me to wake up.
I used to tell myself that I was ‘unlucky’. I would always be the one caught with their hand in the cookie jar, or throwing that rock at something I shouldn’t, or saying the wrong thing to someone and making them cry.
I was BLAMING circumstances and people OUTSIDE of myself for the problems I had in my life.
I had a powerful Coaching session with a client on Monday night and it made it even clearer to me about the relationship between DISCOMFORT and SUCCESS. It also plays a huge part in this thing called EVOLUTION.
It turns out the path to abundant success, deeper relationships, stronger bodies and minds, resilience, more wealth, higher levels of consciousness, and any other juicy stuff you desire requires your path to GO THROUGH (I did not say around ;-)) this thing called discomfort.
Now before I go further I want to clear up a key distinction. There is a difference between pain and discomfort. To explain, let’s step into the yoga studio. When we are sitting down with our legs in front of us and stretching forward to touch our toes (or in their vicinity ;-)); the more me stretch, the greater the discomfort. BUT if we go too far, the discomfort may turn into a sharp or stabbing pain, or grating, or a tearing sensation. That is pain. And when we feel pain, we need to ease back a bit. We don’t stop. We just come back from pain. We want to push our boundaries and get edgy, but we don’t want to tumble over the edge into injury or damage or the abyss.
Last Saturday I was off to see one of my favourite movie characters and actors come to life again on the big screen as Jason Bourne. I was super excited. And then I got the call.
Rob is one of the Founders of The Practice yoga centre in Bali, that I am now a co-founder of, and he informed me that by chance he discovered that the neighbour planned to start building a 15m high, 2-storey accommodation block about 1m from our boundary, which will eventually block 50% of the view from one of our yoga studios. And he planned to start building immediately.
The landowner has a rather large block of land. He has no need to build 1m from our fence, and he was openly amused at the idea that his building, when finished would block out 50% of our view from one of our studios. Long story short. Not a nice or reasonable person and definitely not interested in us ‘working together’ so everyone benefits – like us guaranteeing him 100% occupancy rate for at least 4-6 months of the year as our preferred accommodation provider.Â
I was totally stumped today when I was trying to think about what subject might best serve you today. I was trying to think of something that is useful, insightful and practical.
And I figured let’s talk about the very broad and general subject of ‘How to Deal with Problems’. I guessed it would definitely be relevant to us all probably right at this very moment.
So…can you think of a problem that you have in your life now?
hey! Don’t get lost in it.
Just raise your hand so I know you are not an alien. 😉
Now when I talk about ‘desires’ I am talking about the ones you have thought about and have purposefully planted, as opposed to the desires that talk to that animal part of your brain and pull you in numerous different directions, plus they often come with literal or metaphorical hang-overs. 😉
So…are you ready to learn even more about the brain? Your brain. That incredibly powerful tool at your disposal that often stands between mediocrity and joyful success and happiness.
It turns out that willpower trumps IQ when it comes to success. When researchers measured the willpower of children, and their IQ, they found that willpower was a bigger determinate of whether a child would be successful, as opposed to IQ. No surprises really. I like the saying that successful people do the things that unsuccessful people refuse to do, not because they want to do them, but because they know it needs to be done. The tool they use is WILLPOWER. Like my favourite Michael Beckwith quote: “What does not feeling like it have to do with it?”
This might just be my favourite subject…