Let’s just dive straight in!!
Tip 1: Something about trees and forests
See the bigger picture.
Get in the habit of catching yourself out if you focus and ruminate on what is going wrong in one moment or short space of time. Don’t get fixated on the tress and miss the beauty and richness of the forest.
If something is not working, step back, breathe, look around and connect to something that is working. And the more we condition ourselves to look for what ‘IS WORKING’ the more we will find it.
Get ready for a wee lesson in how your brain works and how to not have the mental problem solving faculties of a dog (no disrespect intended at dogs for us dog lovers ;-)).
The Brain 101
I am going to be over simplistic here. For those that want a deeper dive on how best to use their brains check out The Guidebook to Optimum Health. 😉
The three basic parts of the brain and their functions are:
Now did you notice I used the word ‘processing’? Not fighting. Not suppressing. Not avoiding. Not ignoring. But processing.
It is ok to have so-called ‘negative’ emotions. They are a sign to us that something needs to be done. The aim is to get the message and then have the nervous energy of emotions (with their cortisol and adrenaline) dissipate or be processed as I am suggesting here.
All of the techniques to follow are essentially turning off the stress response, and activating the relaxation response. In that state you are more aware, creative, powerful, resilient and less reactive. So that is always what we are aiming for.
The Tips are sort of listed from the most basic (for the small stuff) to the techniques for the bigger stuff. Choose one, if it is not potent enough then work your way down the list. Enjoy!
At the start of the week I had someone ask me the question about how they can increase their self-esteem. So here are 5 ways that I know for increasing your self-esteem.
Tip 1: 1 Inside = 10 Outsides
You get a huge gold star if you figure out what the heck I am going to say after reading the sub-title.
My point is when it comes to self-esteem there was a mistaken belief, that was perpetuated a couple of decades ago and still holds some sway today, that by telling someone they are great it will increase their self-esteem. Nup – not really. Though too much is likely to increase someones level of narcissism. 😉
So today I just want to throw a small challenge out to you, which is GUARANTEED to make you feel happier.
The Why
The why is pretty simple. Life is about feelings. It isn’t about stuff or achievement, it is about how we think that stuff and achievement is actually going to make us feel. So we are after a feeling.
So the feeling I am going to encourage you to create, is this very generic thing called ‘happiness’. It will probably feel a little different for all of us, but regardless of how it shows up, it will feel really good.
Now I don’t like to throw any blame around as a general rule, but it is pretty evident that we are bombarded with ‘messages’ from advertising (LOTS of it!!!), peers, colleagues, Hollywood movies, books, magazines, friends, family, and the little voices in the back of heads that have been building up over decades.
Most of them are telling us that we are not enough. That we are not doing enough, being enough, have enough, achieved enough, etc. etc. etc.
Now I am a big fan of tapping into your full potential, as you know, but…not at the expense of the things that are most important to you.
This is a story about how I carried shame and humiliation with me for 28 years, and how that not only affected me in different situations, but held me back from my potential.
It is also a story about possibility. What is possible when we process limiting beliefs that are related to past trauma. We don’t just feel different, we become different. Different feelings = different results.
Are you ready to know stuff about me that I have barely told a soul? What follows is also a lesson in Vulnerability 101.
Are you over the whole ‘goal setting’ thing yet?
As much as the concept and words have a bad wrap, there is great benefit to figuring out what you want in life, so you can point your life in that general direction. The problem is that if the exercise is entirely cognitive (in your head) you might actually be heading in the opposite direction to your true destination.
1. The journey is the destination
I heard the statement above again recently. Actually I have heard it said in many different ways, but this is more clear for the succinct point I want to make.
As I highlighted above, there are many ways we can uncover in ourselves a fear of the unknown, or a fear of uncertainty. It is ok to have a little bit of ‘real’ fear to help us focus on what needs to be done, but too much fear lessens our joy, affects our health, reduces our potential, closes us to love, and causes us to miss out on the true magic life has to offer.
Tony Robbins talks about two of our basic human needs being our need for ‘certainty’ and also paradoxically a need for ‘uncertainty’. We actually need uncertainty in our lives. I believe we need it for excitement, adventure, growth, creativity, innovation, success, joy, and to tap into the full potential that resides within us, which does not operate by any small-minded rules (unless of course we know everything there is to know in the universe). 😉
So the more we can embrace, find comfort and make peace with leaning into the unknown, the greater our lives will become and the more our fear will dissipate.
Why we need ‘it’
Given that we are all infinitely unique, I am going to give you a range of different ideas on how you can fuel your motivation, and create the energy and drive to succeed in whatever area it is you want.
And remember, a strategy unused is a nothing more than a minor light show in the inner recesses of your (potentially powerful) brain. Put into play one of these Tips, and then you will see results.
Tip 1: Get emotional
One of the most successful Coaches, business leaders and philanthropist around, is Tony Robbins (he often charges over $1M for one year of coaching). He is also is extremely passionate and emotional in the work that he does. In not unrealistic to see this 6’7” tall dude, in the middle of telling a story, bringing himself (and others) to tears. His emotions fuel his drive to keep on doing what needs to be done.