I am guessing you have plenty of things happening at the moment, as we approach the end of the year, so I will endeavour to keep this tip short (like me).
Noting that good things, when small, can be twice as good.
Today’s tip was inspired by real-time and real-world events.
My older brother is holidaying in Bali for a couple of weeks, and on Day 2 we had a minor ‘tiff’.
And I figured it would be useful to share with you the “root cause“, and how to avoid something similar during a socially-rich festive season.
I am not sure why this surprises people
This is an interesting one when it comes to communication and connecting.
The principle is pretty simple.
Actually, really simple.
It is this: We are pretty much all different.
Our likes and dislikes are different.
Our values are likely to be different and differently determined (i.e. what my interpretation of a value is versus someone else’s ).
And I can assure you that no one else’s list of priorities -in priority order, is the same as yours.
Therefore…
We need to stop expecting people to be into the same stuff as us, or think and act the same way as us.
I think we all sort of get this (intellectually).
The harder part is this next part.
We all get that people have different likes and dislikes, and priorities and things they value more than us, but now it is time to bring this insightful wisdom into action.
Now this is the real difference maker.
It is called: “ACCEPTANCE”.
In my case friction showed up when my brother expected me to be into surfing, and spending time at the beach in general (because that is what he REALLY loves, values and prioritizes), when I would actually rather be curled up reading a new fiction book I bought, which is the recently released book 5 in a series I have enjoyed over the years, and something I REALLY love, value and prioritize.
This acceptance thing is a great festive season Tip.
My challenge for you (and me) is this:
If someone (friend or family) don’t want to do what you want to do, see if you can accept their choice and then go about your own business.
If someone doesn’t want to drink alcohol, or play cards, or play cricket, or go see a movie, or anything else on a very long list this Christmas; then respond with “Roger that” (aka: acceptance) and then let both of you have the chance to do what it is the both of you would prefer to be doing all along.
It can make for a much happier and more comfortable gathering.
Rather than restrictive, constrictive and sort of not respecting that we are all adults (and don’t really like being told what to do).
In Summary:
No one has the same likes, dislikes, values and order of priorities as you.
Practice ACCEPTANCE of peoples desires (providing they are not hurting anyone), rather than – even pleasantly or passively – trying to cajole, bagger, guilt, shame, coerce, bully, etc. into doing what you want to do.
My Parting Words
I will keep my parting words short too.
I am pretty sure we have all been teased, bullied or picked on to some level, over the course of our lives, because we didn’t want to conform with certain individuals or the group.
It doesn’t feel good.
So this Christmas, and with any interactions over the next bunch of weeks, see if you can turn up your ACCEPTANCE dial (which I will be doing too), in order to bring more harmony into your life.
This fits in with last weeks ‘Communication Tips‘ and the value of being seen, heard and appreciated for the unique individuals we are.
When we, and others, are accepted for our personal choices and preferences, it reduces the resistance that can hamper the flourishing of meaningful relationships and interpersonal connections.
Any thing we can do to support that, has to be a good thing.
So good luck with your own “acceptance project“, and we will confer and compare notes in 2025.
Have a superb day and a week of turning the dial up on acceptance.
Take care,
Carl
Quotable QUOTE:
“If we accept the fact that we are all different, the next logical step is to truly accept peoples (inevitable) different choices.” Carl Massy
(Author of 18 Ways We Make Life WAY Harder Than It Needs To Be)
PS: Have you read or listened to this book yet? 18 Ways We Make Life WAY Harder Than It Needs To Be
